ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
