just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
