I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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