hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
