Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
