We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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