U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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