Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
