He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
