It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
