what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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