Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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