Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
