Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The police scanner is talking about you again....
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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