You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
