My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
