youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
