I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Your penis caused this!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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