would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
