And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize