My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
