i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
