I cockslap morals
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
