Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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