That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
