Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
