I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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