don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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