she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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