yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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