He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
