whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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