Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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