Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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