i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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