I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
