His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we're making bets on your personal life
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
