Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
