The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
