Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
