he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
