brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize