if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Randomize
