I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
