I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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