hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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