You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
pop tarts are not kleenex
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize