Me. At least after what I've been through.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
