; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
