It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
