we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize