your room smells of hookers.
And success
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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