If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
