he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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