I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
