i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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