ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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