Dual....:-)
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
