I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
