you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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