is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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