At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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