I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
