i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
