respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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